Case Study - Lydia
September 2007
Experiencing the power of equine therapy, has left me in awe of these magnificent 4-legged creatures and what they can teach us.
To put my experience in context:- I had had a bad morning having had the pleasure of speaking to an old colleague who neatly and efficiently quashed every ounce of self esteem and self respect with her patronising tongue. She left me gritting my teeth – feeling angry, frustrated and upset. I relayed my experience to Aurele (through same gritted teeth) and she invited me to ‘come and work with the horses’ that afternoon.
I love horses but I also respect and fear them. Face to face with a large 3 year old filly made me feel challenged, nervous and scared.
So what did I learn about myself?
Four very real truths about me became so blindingly apparent throughout the session which surprised me. I hadn’t expected my actions, approach and feelings to affect to such a great extent the outcome of each task I was being asked to do and I also hadn’t expected the horse to mirror so clearly how I felt.
1. Control
Truth: I have a need for control. I demonstrate this need on a daily basis. Only the day before the session, I made cookies with my 9 year old daughter and I’m ashamed to say I took over the process to the point where she said ‘I thought we were meant to be making these together’.
I outwardly demonstrated a need for control in the session by gripping the horse by the lead rope under her chin as I walked her around. Even though I was asked to let go and move my hand along the rope, I kept finding myself with a vice like grip around the rope beneath her chin. By letting go of my grip a little I still retained control but my hand didn’t hurt as much. This is a huge lesson that if I can learn from, will benefit my children on a number of levels from giving them the opportunity to learn through some of their own experiences through to demonstrating my trust in them – perhaps a particularly important one if I am going to keep the open relationship I have with them through their teenage years.
2. Positive thought
Truth: I didn’t realise how often I say ‘I can’t’. I must have said it at the start of 50% of the tasks – it was pointed out to me every time. I felt out of my depth and out of control. I didn’t know how to and therefore I immediately thought ‘I can’t’. I learnt through demonstration that by adjusting my mindset, being positive and saying I can, I did! This was a feeling of absolute elation.
3. Space
Truth: I don’t know how to protect my space and therefore when my space is invaded I do nothing about it – just grit my teeth, whinge and end up in a bad mood. When the horse entered my space I felt intimidated – she was simply much bigger than me and I didn’t know what she might do. I was shown different ways to get her out of my space each using varying levels of effort. Having discussed how these could be adapted to other situations, I now feel better equipped to protect my space.
4. The effect of fear
This fourth lesson was not apparent to me in the session but at 2am the following morning. I woke up and ran through the session in my head. I wandered why Dawn (the horse) had showed such fear of the wheel barrow on one side of the yard as I was leading her around. It then dawned on me.
The other 3 sides of the yard had escape routes on them – not for the horse but for me and I had located these at the very beginning – just in case. If the horse got out of control, there were gates on two sides that I reckoned I could hurdle over and a shed which housed the feed & tack on the other side which provided a bolt hole that I could quickly get into. But on the wheel barrow side there was no escape. As I led Dawn around I felt comfortable and confident on the sides with the escape routes to hand but on the fourth side, I was nervous. I THINK this is why she behaved in the way she did on that side of the yard – she was simply picking up on my fear. I relayed this thought to Aurele the following day who told me that Dawn saw this wheel barrow in the same position on a daily basis and never showed any fear of it before. She knew it was my fear, which is why she had made me lead Dawn past it repeatedly.
This has absolutely intrigued me and the more I think about it the more similarities I can see in other situations where fear has fed fear.
From a one hour session I have learnt more about myself and how my behaviour affects others and their behaviour towards me than I have learnt through any of the 1 day courses I have attended through work (and believe me, I have attended many!). Equine therapy has taught me all this in the most beautiful and uncomplicated way.
Lydia S. Director of a production company, wife and mother of 2.